Elementary Thoughts

My roommate recently went through a box of her old projects and stories from elementary school. She found this little gem, which I simply can't resist sharing.

If I Ran the World

By Michelle

If I ran the world everything would be free.

My mom would be my servant.

My dad would be my limo driver.

My brother would go to Jayden’s house and live there.

I would have a sleepover every Friday-Saturday.

I won’t have school. There would be no parents. Two girls would live with me. Their names are Tina and Marsha.

Cars would be $100.00. I would win the lottery 100 times.

I would have 100 limos. I would have 6 theaters.

They would play Free Willy and Mrs. Doubtfire.

Well, I don’t know if it will happen or not but I hope it will happen.

Going Without

Every year for Lent, I give something up. I'm not Catholic, but I like the idea of removing something (potentially) negative from my life for over a month. Usually, my sacrifices lead to better habits in the long run. Aside from the religious aspects of Lent (remembering Jesus' temptation from the Devil for forty days and nights in the wilderness), I like to think of Lent as a time to make positive changes for myself.

This all started my junior year of college when my roommate Liz and I decided to give up fast food for Lent. After our forty days, this led to us only eating fast food once a month, which quickly led to a frantic dash to Wendy's on the first day of every month. We tried.

One year, I gave up celebrity gossip, which was much harder than I anticipated. It also didn't help that Anna Nicole Smith decided to die a few days before Lent started. The next year, I gave up online celebrity gossip, which was really just a good excuse to remove perezhilton.com from my life. I've since stopped reading his website. I also no longer buy People or USWeekly magazines, but I read my roommate's copies when she's done with them. That doesn't count.

One year I tried to give up Facebook (HA) and settled on checking it once a week (HA) which turned into once a day which has since turned into my nightly unwind ritual. Whatever did we do before Facebook? Last year, I gave up being negative and gossipy about an acquaintance of mine, which was my most successful "giving up" of all time. She and I now have a comfortable friendship.  

This year, I'm giving up eating out at restaurants. This includes lunch, dinner, fast food, happy hour, and going out for drinks.* In college, I started a horrible tradition of eating out 2-3 nights a week, which turned into 3-5 nights a week after I graduated. My first year of teaching, I ate out nearly every night. Obviously, this has led to an unhealthy diet, a dwindling bank account, and a lack of dish-washing skills. I'll be forced to cook -- or at least to drive to my parents' house and plop myself down at their dining table. I'll be saving money, eating healthier, and learning a life skill or two. The crockpot is waiting on the counter and I went out for Italian last night (and will be going out for lunch tomorrow...and happy hour on Tuesday...have to get it out of my system!). 

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*Unfortunately I have to break my "giving up" on two occasions. I'm going to Portland this weekend with my mom and to Vegas in March to visit a friend. These were pre-arranged trips, before I made the decision. So they don't count. So there.

Life Lessons for Third Grade Girls

I spent the past two weeks substituting in a third grade classroom at the school I work at. My principal pulled me from my regular job (read: playing for three hours a day with the cutest children I've ever known) and asked me to fill in for a teacher who was traveling to England for her mother's funeral. Unfortunate for her, PERFECT for me. I haven't been a teacher in an actual classroom for over a year and I was incredibly nervous. Would I remember how to teach? Would I know how to do third grade math? Would the kids be completely confused as to why my name started with a "Miss" and not a "Mrs."?

Yes.

Yes.

YES. Always.

Third grade is exhausting. Girls are catty, boys are goofy, there are still criers but there are also texters. And swearers.

And drama queens:

"Miss Caldart, we need to go to the principal RIGHT NOW. Something horrible happened at recess." (Gasping, heaving sobs.)

"What happened? Tell me first and then I'll decide whether or not we're going to the principal."

"Jessica told Ryan she thought he was cute and he told EVERYONE."

"Lesson number one: Don't tell boys you like them unless you want them to tell their friends."

"Then Jessica followed him around for the rest of recess and he told her to GO AWAY."

I really didn't blame him.

Yikes...

I just saw the guy I went on an awkward date with wearing a jacket with a fur collar. Good call on politely declining a second date.

My Mom Joined Facebook

Here is a Facebook convo between my mom and my uncle's crazy Mother-in-Law:

(click to enlarge)

Restless

Ladies and Gentlemen...it's official. I am going back to school. Again.

Nearly one month to the day after the completion of my Masters of Education, I will be starting classes at SPU, working towards my Special Education endorsement. Apparently spare time was not really my cup of tea.

I'll be done in December, but that's not the fabulous part:

I already have THIRTEEN credits towards my endorsement (the program is 40 credits). As in, I only need to take TWENTY SEVEN credits. As in, three classes now, one in the spring, two this summer, and fifteen hours of student teaching. Ta-da!!

By the time I'm done with this, I think I'll be ready to get a big-girl job again.